Was listening to one of Ricky Gervais’ podcasts (the worlds number one podcast. Fact!) on my iPod on the way to work the other day and struggled to control myself when they were talking about being too embarrassed to buy just toilet paper on its own as they didn’t want to be seen by the shop assistant as being in desparate need of a dump. They therefore felt the need to buy something else with the toilet rolls to make it look as if they are just going about their normal shopping business.
Anyway, this got my creative juices flowing and thankfully thats all that flowed! One of the most difficult and embarrassing experiences we teachers very occasionally have to endure is that of needing to ‘release the chocolate hostage’ during the middle of a lesson. If I am teaching three lessons without any gaps in-between (up to 3 hours) then I basically have to hold it in.
Despite being more than accustomed to Japanese food my body doesn’t always agree and as recently as last week I had to apologise and rush out of a 30 minute lesson twice for natures call! It was the longest ever 30 minute lesson and not such a good first impression to make on a new student!
Further problems can be had if I am in one of my schools where there is no western toilet. Although Japan is a land of super-gadget toilets (heated seats and jets that squirt in the precise spot etc) it is also full of the traditional Japanese squat toilets which one finds fairly impossible to use. The McSh*t may then have to follow which if you dont know is the idea where you go into McDonalds with only one intention. That being to use their clean toilets only.
If you’re just tucking into your coco pops and reading this over breakfast then hopefully I haven’t put you off!! Obviously I thought about putting that last comment as a warning at the top of this article but then i thought that would be boring and so changed my mind! I’m sure the one thing you wanted to know the most about life in Tokyo was my bowel movements! You probably think I usually talk sh*t and now I have quite literally proved it!!